Dealing with an estranged child and cleaning up parents’ mess | Opinion

Financial Planners

Ms Amy Oh

I have 3 children and have been estranged from one for over 30 years. A settlement does not appear to be in the future. Since I am a few years past my life expectancy age, my question is, is it wrong to exclude that child from the inheritance?


wondering about leaving this world

Dear Ones Contemplating Leaving This World

I am sorry to hear about your family situation. Discord is not easy. I applaud you for doing the right thing.

Generally speaking, financial planners and other money experts believe that dividing wealth among children is the fairest way to distribute wealth. But this is life, and life has all kinds of exceptions. For example, one child may have previously received more financial support than others. For example, support for venture companies. Real estate planning is where the numbers even out. Children with special needs also need more money. Then there are the irreconcilable differences.

Can you clarify why you don’t want your child to inherit? If the reasons fall into the categories of equalizing, punishing, or teaching, you may want to discuss it with a mental health counselor. You don’t have to justify your reasons to anyone but yourself. I suggest that the extra help of talking to someone might be beneficial.If you’re comfortable with your reasons, do what you think is best.

You have the right to do whatever you want with your money and assets. However, remember that amounts are part of the estate plan. You also have your legacy, which defines as “a specific event, action, etc. that happened in the past or has a long-lasting effect on a person’s life.”

Make sure your legacy includes sharing your estate plan with your heirs before the time comes. please let me know. This also helps prevent unpleasant surprises. Finally, you may want to leave a legacy of creative thinking, such as giving your grandchildren a share of your estranged child’s fortune.

Ms Amy Oh

Whenever I visit my absent-minded parents, I spend a lot of time thinking about all their belongings and how I have to clean up the clutter. Is my old bedroom full of stuff from grandparents? who knows? How can I start the process now without upsetting my parents?


they can’t take it with them

Dear They Can’t Take It With They,

If you want a good example of a first world problem, this is all you need. I hope your parents aren’t like millions of Americans who rent storage space for their stuff.

Please do your best. Things are not handled by themselves. And yes, you will probably be the one left to clean up the mess (your words, not mine). In the article “Sorry Nobody Wants Your Parents’ Stuff,” writer Richard Eisenberg suggests: What to do with their furniture, ceramics, crystals, tableware, jewelry, artwork, and chochike when the sad time comes.

first step? Start a conversation with your parents. Certainly death-related chats aren’t high on the list. infotainmentI recommend framing a story of what they want to leave behind and what they want to be remembered for. I think there are items you would like to have and items they would like you to have. There may be other things that you would like other family members to have. For all you know, your parents may have the impression that you are not interested in what you own. This is not a one-time conversation with him. In fact, plan to take longer than expected. longer. And during those conversations, perhaps slowly but surely, piles of things are scraped away.

The actual chores of handling things – the physicality of sorting, boxing, bagging, hauling, dumping, donating – is the easy part. A simple Google search (try Swedish Death Cleaning or Marie Kondo) or check out HGTV , you’ll get a lot of how-tos on decluttering and downsizing. For that matter, you can hire someone for that task.

Start the conversation by making sure to ask if you are renting for storage space. you can do it!

Former CVN editor Amy Marie Orozco loves life in Carpinteria and includes all the socially awkward situations that sometimes occur in a seaside environment. Amy O She offers advice (only when asked) and edits her Cannabis for Sea Magazine. Does she have any questions for her? Please email her to

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